Faithless to Faithful- Kaylie Martin Testimony

Kaylie Martin

If you were to ask me 5 years ago if I could see myself writing a blog about what God has done for me, I would have laughed in your face. Before I became a Christian I was so broken. My parents never raised me in the church or taught me who Jesus truly was. All I knew is that He was a man who died and came back to life and I had to say I believed in Him so I wouldn’t go to this place called hell. Because my parents didn’t know the love of Christ they didn’t know how to give that kind of love to me. So, before I came to know Christ all I knew was worldly love. The kind of love that makes you second guess your worth. The kind of love that makes you feel ugly. And the kind of love that expects you to be perfect to receive it. Because that was all I knew, that was all I could give. I ruined so many relationships because of that, and I had no love for myself. But while in the midst of all my struggles God had a plan, and that plan consisted of me leaving from my old hometown to where I currently live today. When I moved I was 10 years old, and I am currently 16. When I got to my new school I became friends with some girls who at the time I thought would be my best friends forever; I mean, didn’t every 10 year old think that. Now these girls were popular and I didn’t really fit in with them so I tried so hard to be cool, but I started to get bullied and I decided that I would be mean to anyone who spoke poorly of me because you know; do unto others as you want done unto you, and they clearly wanted me to be mean. That would be logic thinking right? Well let me tell you where that got me, absolutely no where. I just sank into a deep depression that was ongoing until my freshmen year of high school. But let’s fast forward to my 7th grade year when I met my best friend Kara. When I met Kara we instantly clicked. She was so kind to me and made me feel loved and at the time I really needed that because I didn’t have that in my own home. Kara was one of my first Christian friends, and really helped me to understand who Jesus was. As the first year of our friendship went by we became pretty close and I started opening up to her about some of my depression and home life. Kara was one of the most easy people to talk to because we related a lot. Her parents were divorced and through her testimony she was able to help encourage me. Now that summer of my 7th grade year I  went to a summer camp with a local church and on the first night of worship was when I experienced the love of Christ for the first time in my life. I could feel every hair rising on my arms and I had goosebumps all over and I instantly bursted out into tears and realized that the fulfillment I had been looking for can only be found in Christ and that night I got saved. When I returned home I was on fire for God for maybe the 1st week and then Satan came in like a wrecking ball and told me all of his lies, and I just gave up. For a while I pretended like I was okay and just kept going about my life. Kara soon invited me to her church our 8th grade year and I am still currently in this church. I was very hesitant on going because I was scared that it would be like my old church that I did not feel welcomed in at all, but that was not the case whatsoever. The youth leaders, Mrs. Marilyn and Mr. Charlie, greeted me right away and got my contact information so they had a way to reach out to me. Within the first 2 weeks I had started going there almost everyone already knew my name and that just felt so good to me to finally feel important. I usually didn’t go to church on Sundays because I couldn’t get a ride and they would text me and check up on me to see where I was and try and find me rides. Because of the churches kindness to me I had officially decided after just a few months of attending that that was where I wanted to stay, so I decided that I would go to the youth camp. I started doing all the fundraising for camp and getting really close with Mrs. Marilyn. When it finally came time for camp I really had a hard time opening up my heart to what the preacher had to say, but on the second night God really grabbed a hold of my heart and let me feel His presence. Ater that I knew that I had been away from Him for too long and I rededicated my life to Him. After I came back home from camp that summer I was so on fire for God once again, but the Devil like always didn’t like that and he wanted me to keep living a broken life, and I believed his lies. I was so mad at myself for letting this happen for the second time and I couldn’t take the pain anymore. Mrs. Marilyn and Kara did the best they could do to help me and I could never thank them enough for that because they truly have been some of the biggest role models in my life, but what I so desperately needed was for me to stop trying to control my own life. A few months before my freshmen year ended I was getting ready one night for bed and all of the sudden I hear God and this is what I heard, “ The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.” Exodus 14:14 and I realized my heartache was because I kept trying to fight my battles all on my own. For so long I would ask God to take my pain away and ask Him to fight for me, but I never truly let go of my pride and completely surrendered. So from that night on, I surrendered my life to Him and let Him be Lord of my life. Throughout my journey with God over the last 3 years I prayed for my family. All I wanted was for them to get saved and have a relationship with Christ. I often got discouraged because I thought my prayers were not being answered, but on January 30th of 2021 all of that changed. On that afternoon me, Mrs. Marilyn and Kara went out to eat for lunch and we were talking and I had told them that I didn’t think that my parents would ever change. I thought that God just wasn’t answering my prayers and I was so heart broken to the point I was just ready for my parents to divorce. And I honestly was underestimating the power of prayer because around 11pm that night my dad came to me and my sister in tears and apologized for not being the father he should have been. He said that he felt bad for everything that he has done and that he heard God speak to him and tell him that it was time to be the father God was calling him to be, and on that very night he gave his life to Jesus. When he was speaking to me I felt God’s presence in a way I never have before and I knew from that moment that God was faithful even when I wasn’t and that prayer really changes things. My dad said something a few days later that I will never forget. He said “It’s not that God wasn’t answering your prayers because I heard Him and felt Him. I just neglected to respond.” And for the longest time I thought that God wasn’t listening, but He was. I know that it can feel like He isn’t when things don’t happen when or how we want them to, but that is because us humans have free will, and we have to be willing to accept what God is telling us. One thing I have learned through this is that God’s timing is perfect and His will for us is perfect, and no matter how unfaithful we are to God, His love for us never changes. I know this because He promises many things to us in His word. Cling to His word and His promises because Deuteronomy 31:6 says “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” I pray that my testimony will speak to you, and encourage you to to step out in faith and give God your all because He is so good. And when times get tough lean on God even more, because He wants to fight your battles. And when you feel as though God isn’t answering remember that His timing is perfect. One verse that got me through many tough times was Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths,” and I hope that it encourages you as well.

- Kaylie Martin

@Kaylie.rayelynn